Cross-Diasporic Relationships

[RockCityEyez]

This may be better suited for the Sex, Love and Dating forum, but...........OH-FRIGGIN'-WELL! :smash

So, I was just curious: for those of you who are in relationships with ppl from another side of the Diaspora than yourself Yeah Urbz....YOU! LOL , what was the biggest thing, specific to their culture, that you had to get accustomed to? Or was there anything disturbing that you had heard about your significant other's culture, but found out it wasn't as crucial as you thought?



:big_ear:

[UrbanGal]

This may be better suited for the Sex, Love and Dating forum, but...........OH-FRIGGIN'-WELL! :smash

So, I was just curious: for those of you who are in relationships with ppl from another side of the Diaspora than yourself Yeah Urbz....YOU! LOL , what was the biggest thing, specific to their culture, that you had to get accustomed to? Or was there anything disturbing that you had heard about your significant other's culture, but found out it wasn't as crucial as you thought?



:big_ear:


Yeah yeah, now THAT'S what I'm taking about! Good thread RCE!

Now from my own experience:

Nearly every man I've dated has been African or West Indian. As you all know my husband is Tanzanian(big ups to TZ). The thing I've had to get accustomed to with him is cuisine. I've learned to cook much larger portions and cook Indian foods since that is what he eats. I've had to get used to the differences in gender roles. My husband is not totally "traditional" but was certainly raised to feel that the man is the head of the household and his word is absolute. To a certain extent I accept this. If the issue at hand is major and I feel passionate about it, I will challenge him and will not bend. I've also had to get accustomed to uh....differences in alcohol consumption-Tanzanians and Zambians LOVE beer!:laugh: And then there is the whole issue of the sterotypes....its not really an issue between us but it does come up with others in our circle. But in all honesty I would say that our differences in class have more of an effect on our relationship than the differences in our cultures.

[UrbanGal]

Now the disturbing things I heard...hmmm....that African men were domineering and controlling. But I knew that wasn't the case before I hooked up with my husband.

[RockCityEyez]

[COLOR=DarkGreen]Yeah yeah, now THAT'S what I'm taking about! Good thread RCE!


*takes a bow* Tanks, Mrs. Mtunga. LOL Not you gettin' krunk. :laugh: Now go recruit all your peers (namely Gravity [formerly known as Jamaican Gyal] and MDG [whenever she chooses to reappear).

[UrbanGal]

*takes a bow* LOL Not you gettin' krunk. :laugh: Now go recruit all your peers (namely Gravity [formerly known as Jamaican Gyal] and MDG [whenever she chooses to reappear).

Yes Ma'am!

[Zinyia]

Why it seem like de two ah all yuh have a doll house called this forum and all yuh doh invite nobody else to play :laugh:

[doncalypso]

I was barely 13 going on 14 when I left Togo, so I hadn't started dating yet by the time I left Africa and returned home to Haiti. Maybe in the future I might end up with a woman from the motherland, but as of yet I have not dated an African woman. Hell, I've only dated one Haitian woman and never have dated a black American or non-Haitian Caribbean woman. My dating experience is too limited to allow me to make any valuable contribution to this thread.

[TwentyFourSeven]

[COLOR=DarkGreen]
my husband



Your what??? :2eek:

[UrbanGal]

Your what??? :2eek:


:p Yes, that's why my status says Mrs. Mtunga. Its official now. :p

[TwentyFourSeven]

:p Yes, that's why my status says Mrs. Mtunga. Its official now. :p

When the hell did that happen? :2eek:

[Zinyia]

Urbie if you are married right now and you didn't tell me I will never ever forgive you :mad:

[UrbanGal]

When the hell did that happen? :2eek:

Exactly one week ago.

[UrbanGal]

Urbie if you are married right now and you didn't tell me I will never ever forgive you :mad:

Awww well don't get too mad.:D You already knew it was in the works. Besides, it was just a simple thing at the courthouse. The "real" wedding is planned for when we go to Tanzania.

[tlapartna]

:rolleyes:

[UrbanGal]

:rolleyes:

I know, I know, I am going to feel your wrath.

[Zinyia]

I endorse any beating of UrbanGal by tla cho! :D

[SahWah]

Awwww congrats Urbs :)
Whey de cake though? :o

[UrbanGal]

Awwww congrats Urbs :)
Whey de cake though? :o

Thanks SJG. Now about that cake-talk to STF; she was supposed to bake it.:D

[TwentyFourSeven]

*Scratches Urbs off my list as top potential harem girl*

[RockCityEyez]

Congrats your-royalness!! :clap2: Feel free to post some pix of you and Mr. Mtunga in a separate thread, of course)!!



Now back to deh subject!!!! :Pissed:

[RockCityEyez]

Why it seem like de two ah all yuh have a doll house called this forum and all yuh doh invite nobody else to play :laugh:

Buh look you dun invite yuhself, wah you mekkin noise fah? :whip: Dis forum fuh deh whole ah CP, buh iz juss deh usual suspects duz be in here all deh time. :nah:

[shawwty]

wow ~ .. who knew :rolleyes:

[UrbanGal]

Congrats your-royalness!! :clap2: Feel free to post some pix of you and Mr. Mtunga in a separate thread, of course)!!



Now back to deh subject!!!! :Pissed:

Thanks, and yes, let's get back to the subject folks. This is not the UrbanGal marriage thread!:laugh:

[AxelFoley]

I'm late and I'm mad. :grrr

Urbz... :cry why, why, why..... just when I was about to convert to your way of thinking.

[UrbanGal]

I'm late and I'm mad. :grrr

Urbz... :cry why, why, why..... just when I was about to convert to your way of thinking.


:rolleyes: :laugh: You been late man; I told you that already! All that time in 2002 and part of 2003 I was single, where were you at? If you'd been around and caught me I would've gladly had your babies and served you....but noooo....you just had to be a negro and show up late. Not to despair though; I'll catch you "next lifetime";), as the song says :laugh: .

[UrbanGal]

Eh DSP, what way of thinking were you about to convert to? :naughty:

[AxelFoley]

:rolleyes: :laugh: You been late man; I told you that already! All that time in 2002 and part of 2003 I was single, where were you at? If you'd been around and caught me I would've gladly had your babies and served you....but noooo....you just had to be a negro and show up late. Not to despair though; I'll catch you "next lifetime";), as the song says :laugh: .

http://www.mainzelahr.de/smile/crazy/breakdance.gif

http://www.mainzelahr.de/smile/crazy/123.gif

http://www.mainzelahr.de/smile/crazy/975.gif

[AxelFoley]

Eh DSP, what way of thinking were you about to convert to? :naughty:


http://www.mainzelahr.de/smile/crazy/img.gif

[karibspices]

Niggers in VA are wack. Once you get over the wackness they are okay cooks... so long as you like chicken, and only chicken.

I've dated Blacks from Central America (if that counts)

I almost dated an Ethiopian once, but naw.....

[AxelFoley]

but the topic is interesting... I've had exposure to various cultures. :D I appreciate them all.

[RockCityEyez]

but the topic is interesting... I've had exposure to various cultures. :D I appreciate them all.

Details, man....DETAILS!!! :whip:

[tlapartna]

Niggers in VA are wack. Once you get over the wackness they are okay cooks... so long as you like chicken, and only chicken.

I've dated Blacks from Central America (if that counts)

I almost dated an Ethiopian once, but naw.....

Still using da word in 2005

[AxelFoley]

Details, man....DETAILS!!! :whip:

Define relationship first. They may not all fall under your definition. :D

[SouthernBelle]

:p Yes, that's why my status says Mrs. Mtunga. Its official now. :p

BEST WISHES URBZ!<br>
:smash &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; :bounce: &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; :clap2: &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; :drummer:<br><br><br>

[RockCityEyez]

Define relationship first. They may not all fall under your definition. :D


Riiiiiight..... So how about sharing any that apply to the thread's original question. Fair enough? :D

[AxelFoley]

Riiiiiight..... So how about sharing any that apply to the thread's original question. Fair enough? :D

:blah

Well, my Kenyan experience stands out. We had a strong connection that was on a different wavelength. Alot of our friends thought we(relationshipwise) were strange.

[Smile]

Niggers in VA are wack. Once you get over the wackness they are okay cooks... so long as you like chicken, and only chicken.

I've dated Blacks from Central America (if that counts)

I almost dated an Ethiopian once, but naw.....


:big_ear: :big_ear:

[RockCityEyez]

:blah

Well, my Kenyan experience stands out. We had a strong connection that was on a different wavelength. Alot of our friends thought we(relationshipwise) were strange.

Good, yuh on deh right track. :clap: Now how about telling us about the cultural issues that came up in the relationship?? :big_ear:

[vi_till_i_die]

congrats urbs...:D

now if the weddin going to be like the one in comin to america, gyal ah want to be there to see dem man dancing in dah next to nothing attire...:D

[prettidahlin]

I prefer my culture. I generally find the cultural differences between myself and West African men, Black American men etc to be too great. Other than West Indians/West Indian descendants, the only other culture that I could see myself dating/marrying into is Latino culture...

[AxelFoley]

Good, yuh on deh right track. :clap: Now how about telling us about the cultural issues that came up in the relationship?? :big_ear:

Only one issue.. when her and her girlfriends were around and I didn't know their language(at the time, I know it now) and they would forget I didn't know it. It bothered her the other way around also, but that was about it.

[RockCityEyez]

congrats urbs...:D

now if the weddin going to be like the one in comin to america, gyal ah want to be there to see dem man dancing in dah next to nothing attire...:D

Gyul, youza REAL moo-moo mehson!!! :laugh And I KNOW you ain gaan an use a piccha of dah po' donkey from Drake's seat!! *rollin' wid laugh* Or das deh one duz be rung by vendor's plaza? Wah deh rasta name she....t'ain Oprah?!?!! :lol_rolli Dah avatar pic juss good fuh you! :smash

[AxelFoley]

ahem SleepyEyes, I'd like to hear your experience...

:big_ear:

[RockCityEyez]

ahem SleepyEyes, I'd like to hear your experience...

:big_ear:

Eh-eh....show sum respeck! Das "Miss RockCityEYEZ" to you. :whip:

I woulda dun share if ah had any. :nah: Up til now, I've only been in relationships with VI (St. Thomian) dudes. I'm interested in "broadening my horizons", though. :D

[AxelFoley]

Eh-eh....show sum respeck! Das "Miss RockCityEYEZ" to you. :whip:

I woulda dun share if ah had any. :nah: Up til now, I've only been in relationships with VI (St. Thomian) dudes. I'm interested in "broadening my horizons", though. :D

With those eyes it shouldn't be hard for you. :D

and lips too

.... and whats up with the whip... do I sense some undercover control issues... :blah

[RockCityEyez]

With those eyes it shouldn't be hard for you. :D

and lips too

Speak up...what was that last part written in white?

.... and whats up with the whip... do I sense some undercover control issues... :blah

Oooooh! I see somebody is rather touchy.... :la: Oh yeah, I forgot African men always need to be in charge. :rolleyes:

[AxelFoley]

Oooooh! I see somebody is rather touchy.... :la: Oh yeah, I forgot African men always need to be in charge. :rolleyes:

LOL..wrong thread...goes in that other thread you started.

Now get in the kitchen...http://www.mainzelahr.de/smile/essen/672.gif :blah

hmmm wonder where she learned that Liberian english from...

[SexyLucian]

LOL..wrong thread...goes in that other thread you started.

Now get in the kitchen...http://www.mainzelahr.de/smile/essen/672.gif :blah

hmmm wonder where she learned that Liberian english from...


:grrr

[RockCityEyez]

LOL..wrong thread...goes in that other thread you started.

Now get in the kitchen...http://www.mainzelahr.de/smile/essen/672.gif :blah

LOL Apparently it wasn't a stereotype! :wiggle:

hmmm wonder where she learned that Liberian english from...

You need to tek a trip to deh VI, bredda! *steups* Liberian english.... :shame:

[vi_till_i_die]

:lol_rolli at rce, gyal yes dah is the infamous oprah...:D she aint had on lipstick dis time, buh oprah was well behaved...yes ah always showing meh ass on cp, might as well ah keep meh ass showing...:D

yes gyal anytime dah is ah comin to america wedding urbs betta have meh invitation in the mail...:D

[AxelFoley]

:grrr

You have such beautiful teeth. :)

[AxelFoley]

I had a cousin that dated a Trini... after they broke up she shot up his car.

[RockCityEyez]

I had a cousin that dated a Trini... after they broke up she shot up his car.

Meh rass! :longeek:

[UrbanGal]

:lol_rolli at rce, gyal yes dah is the infamous oprah...:D she aint had on lipstick dis time, buh oprah was well behaved...yes ah always showing meh ass on cp, might as well ah keep meh ass showing...:D

yes gyal anytime dah is ah comin to america wedding urbs betta have meh invitation in the mail...:D


Hell, all of CP can get an invite but the wedding will be in Tanzania so you all have to pay your way there.:laugh:

[vi_till_i_die]

:laugh: where there is scantly clothed men, i am there, hey i could marry the prince of zamunda as well...:D

[UrbanGal]

:laugh: where there is scantly clothed men, i am there, hey i could marry the prince of zamunda as well...:D

Oh girl no one told you already? The Prince of Zamunda is right here on CP. He goes by the name of DSP. Part of the "royal family" of Liberia.:laugh:

[AxelFoley]

:shame:

[UrbanGal]

:shame:


Hush man you know you love me!:D

[AxelFoley]

Meh rass! :longeek:

after that we knew her as ill nana. It wasn't funny at the time, but now we really give him a hard time about that.

[AxelFoley]

Hush man you know you love me!:D

:whip:

[mzjamaicanbeauty]

I'm married to a Nigerian. our cultures are very diffrent yet very much the same. one thing i had to get use to was his family. they are very close and always around unlike my family who are spread out across the united states and Jamaica. i had to get use to the food he eats. one thing that i didn't do was learn to cook nigerian food. He likes to be in the kitchen every once in a while and cook for the family. And he likes to eat caribbean food more than me. Simular to what Urban gyal said about the man being the head of house hold, it's that way in my house as well. i really don't mind because when it's time for mi to have my say i have it and we find a way to come to a mutual conclusion. the only time we clash is when it comes to naming our children. we went back and forth for months but finally settled

our son name is Oluwafemi Jeremiah Sodipo
our little girl who will be here soon Oluwakemi kristen Sodipo

and hopefully no more names for a while ...mommy is worn out:Pissed:

[SahWah]

I have never dated or been with anyone other than Caribbean/West Indian men. Does it count as Cross Diasporic if the man from another island than your own? :D

[RockCityEyez]

I'm married to a Nigerian. our cultures are very diffrent yet very much the same. one thing i had to get use to was his family. they are very close and always around unlike my family who are spread out across the united states and Jamaica. i had to get use to the food he eats. one thing that i didn't do was learn to cook nigerian food. He likes to be in the kitchen every once in a while and cook for the family. And he likes to eat caribbean food more than me. Simular to what Urban gyal said about the man being the head of house hold, it's that way in my house as well. i really don't mind because when it's time for mi to have my say i have it and we find a way to come to a mutual conclusion. the only time we clash is when it comes to naming our children. we went back and forth for months but finally settled

our son name is Oluwafemi Jeremiah Sodipo
our little girl who will be here soon Oluwakemi kristen Sodipo

and hopefully no more names for a while ...mommy is worn out:Pissed:

Tanks fuh sharin, gyul. Ah wish you and yours deh best! :clap2:

[RockCityEyez]

I have never dated or been with anyone other than Caribbean/West Indian men. Does it count as Cross Diasporic if the man from another island than your own? :D

NO! And stop lookin' special treatment! I hope deh baby stamp-up on yuh bladda tonite! :angry





















:laugh: Go 'head, gyul. Spill yuh guts! :big_ear:

[AxelFoley]

I was also with a Jamaican for 3 years.

[vi_till_i_die]

never dated anyone outside of the virgin islands...

[SahWah]

NO! And stop lookin' special treatment! I hope deh baby stamp-up on yuh bladda tonite! :angry


:laugh: Go 'head, gyul. Spill yuh guts! :big_ear:
:(










:lol_rolli Nah I go just observe I was jus being mizarebel. :D

[RockCityEyez]

I was also with a Jamaican for 3 years.

OK, and.....? :nah: Any cultural issues, or you just felt like taking up space in the thread? :headscrat







:p

[RockCityEyez]

never dated anyone outside of the virgin islands...

I know "Oprah" ain gah deh nerve to come bring she Nazareth school piccha up in meh tred!!! :Pissed:

















Doan mine me gyul, I juss mekkin noise. :la: "Devil-Hawks" Massive foh life! :smash:

[vi_till_i_die]

geh you chicken hawk backside off meh school eh, we all know who school is the best,

according to alyou slogan on the wall, how many ways can one say NO....:laugh:

[RockCityEyez]

geh you chicken hawk backside off meh school eh, we all know who school is the best,

according to alyou slogan on the wall, how many ways can one say NO....:laugh:

Ah gon leh dat one slide, buh doan geh too nuff wid it..... :nono

[vi_till_i_die]

....:D, hey is not like alyou coulda beat us in basketball, errrrr, football, errrr, steelband was garbage....wha alyou have going for alyou again...:D

[AxelFoley]

OK, and.....? :nah: Any cultural issues, or you just felt like taking up space in the thread? :headscrat







:p


You finish cooking yet?


No cultural issues, her family treated me like one of their own.
I'll try to see if I can remember any drama(like my cousin getting his car shot up), I see my stories are boring to you. :blah

[Jamaica Yow!]

Sorry for my very late arrival RCE...but as you requested...

There wasn't really anything hard/difficult/in need of adjustment to in my relationship with my Nigerian boyfriend. Communication was interesting as he was Ibo, and we used some of the same terms/words. The food....errrr...the eshiewu (goat head soup) left an 'interesting' smell in the house for days.

His household/hierarchy beliefs were pretty traditional. However, even in that arena there was a heavy level of undesrtanding as I hold traditional beliefs myself.

As Urbs pointed out, I have heard the myths that African men are domineering and possessive, yet again this was not the case for me. He was actually pretty laid back and easy going. His friends (all African) were pretty much the same way, and most of them have been living stateside for less than 10 years, my boyfriend included, so I'm not sure how heavily American society influenced their behaviour in that regard.

[RockCityEyez]

....:D, hey is not like alyou coulda beat us in basketball, errrrr, football, errrr, steelband was garbage....wha alyou have going for alyou again...:D

Gyul, wah year YOU graduate?! Look like we gon gah mek dis personal soon.... :grrr If yuh gah any mo lip fuh me, send me a PM or I might tun frig up an delete all yuh post dem from me tred!!! :blah

[RockCityEyez]

You finish cooking yet? :spank:


No cultural issues, her family treated me like one of their own.
I'll try to see if I can remember any drama(like my cousin getting his car shot up), I see my stories are boring to you. :blah Who said anything about drama? :nah: Maybe you and your Liberian english didn't understand my thread topic. :shame:

[UrbanGal]

I thought about this thread last week. I spent a good hour arguing with my husband about Black American English. I was talking on the phone to one of my Aunties. When I speak with my (blood) family, I do not use textbook grammar. My hubby kept sighing and rolling his eyes while I was on the phone. When I get off he tells me that the way I speak with my family makes him want to cringe.:rolleyes: Needless to say I was not amused. I eventually had to tell him that he really needed to read up on the history of our speech because his ignorance was really pissing me off.

[doncalypso]

I'm currently dating a black American woman... does that count as a cross-diasporic relationship?

[tlapartna]

I thought about this thread last week. I spent a good hour arguing with my husband about Black American English. I was talking on the phone to one of my Aunties. When I speak with my (blood) family, I do not use textbook grammar. My hubby kept sighing and rolling his eyes while I was on the phone. When I get off he tells me that the way I speak with my family makes him want to cringe.:rolleyes: Needless to say I was not amused. I eventually had to tell him that he really needed to read up on the history of our speech because his ignorance was really pissing me off.

One of these days u gotta let me hear that man lol

[UrbanGal]

One of these days u gotta let me hear that man lol

Don't get me started on his British sounding behind.

[UrbanGal]

I'm currently dating a black American woman... does that count as a cross-diasporic relationship?

Sure does!

[AxelFoley]

I thought about this thread last week. I spent a good hour arguing with my husband about Black American English. I was talking on the phone to one of my Aunties. When I speak with my (blood) family, I do not use textbook grammar. My hubby kept sighing and rolling his eyes while I was on the phone. When I get off he tells me that the way I speak with my family makes him want to cringe.:rolleyes: Needless to say I was not amused. I eventually had to tell him that he really needed to read up on the history of our speech because his ignorance was really pissing me off.

LOL, you make him sound more British than African...

[UrbanGal]

Black American men are the bomb, especially if they are from the South. That is all I have to say.:laugh: